Our Lady of Comedy Chelsea Peretti blesses big-league baseball burnout

This is the kind of story that has it all—money, fame, fortune, loss, baseball, and redemption. In the fall of 2012, a once promising young athlete named John Holdzkom was contemplating his lack of funds and baseball promises and didn't know where to turn.



Holdzkom, a former promising draft pick for the NY Mets, had blown through his advance and his prospects were slim. He was drafted on the strength of his fastball but after an injury to his arm and surgery to correct, his baseballe ability just could not recover. He was eventually released from the team only to try out for other teams where more rejection followed.



Feeling down on his luck, he picked up the phone a called ‘one of the greats’, and current Brooklyn Nine Nine standout,Chelsea Peretti’s then unknown podcast and he spoke with the comedy legend about blowing a small fortune.





Peretti: How much is a small fortune? Ten grand?

Holdzkom: No. When I was 18 the New York Mets gave me $210,000.

Peretti: Wooooah. Why?

Holdzkom: Because they thought I was a good baseball player.

Peretti: And then what happened? You started sucking at baseball?

Holdzkom: Um, I did. I’m not going to lie. I wasn’t as good as I thought I was, and my arm wasn’t as healthy as I thought it was.





Holdzkom admitting to blowing his advance on food, vices, and an ugly truck. He candidly discussed with the comedian his problems with alcohol and ego and expressed optimism about his upcoming chance to play baseball again in Australia. Chelsea was impressed by his candor and self-awareness, and bestowed the following gift upon him.



Peretti: I feel you have a lot of potential. I’m glad you’ve gotten your life back on track. I think you’re going to go to the majors after Australia.





Three years later, Chelsea's gift of encouragement has come to fruition and Holdzkom is again a major league pitcher, this time for the Pittsburgh Pirates! Here's hoping Holdzkom's fortune lasts, and Chelsea's prophetic powers bless us all.



Listen to the episode here, and make sure to tune into Call Chelsea Peretti each week (or whenever her ass decides to post a new pod). Check out the source article I re-wrote here.