Alright, folks, I didn’t plan on posting much today – *swings battle axe at a soccer mom at Best Buy* – but that was before Disney decided to drop the official teaser for Star Wars: The Force Awakens all over our fat turkey-stuffed faces. – *dodges, swings from rope over to small appliances* – So there’s that above, and I’m trying really hard not to squeal with glee over here – *throws dagger at six-year-old reaching for a Skylander* – because I remember downloading The Phantom Menace trailer in Quicktime (Remember Quicktime?) and watching it obsessively because it was the closest thing to naked boobs my 18-year-old mind had ever seen. – *stuffs oily rag into propane tank* – And then Jar Jar Binks happens. – *lights fuse* – That said, you can already feel a different aesthetic here thanks to J.J. Abrams ‘ eschewing George Lucas ‘ green screen Temple of Doom by actually shooting on location and relying on practical effects whenever possible. Crazy, right? Just don’t let him direct the sequel. – *spins and hurls propane tank into the portable DVD players* – Anyway, enough blabbing out of me. Enjoy the trailer! – *dives into parking lot as building explodes* – Is Target open?
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